Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Available in DoubleVision when drunk

Another wonderful spring day has come and gone. And boy do I mean wonderful! Bright and clear skies dotted with high flying cumulus clouds blissfully floating by. The sun beaming its warming rays to the earth, giving that beautiful and all too familar smell of spring and summer. The only thing that could add to the end of a perfect day would be a powerful nighttime thunderstorm. I don't mean just raining. I mean the crashing of thunder. Thunder so loud, that when it crashes it literally shakes the house. Then quickly followed by a brilliant display of lightning, bathing the night air in a silver-blue arc hue. Where shadows are so crisp and defined, it would almost seem that it were etched in everything permanently. Ahhhh, thunderstorm. Nothing gets my fur up like a powerful thunderstorm. Especially at night.

May I speak to the homeowner please?
This little shmuck of a peon named Kenny from 'The Mortgage Company' has been calling me for the past 6 months now asking about my mortgage. The first time I told him that I was not interested and ended it at that. A few days later I get another phone call asking me the very same thing. I told him that he had already talked to me about it. He denied it, at which I said "The last caller was named was Kenny, just like you said at the beginning of your phone call. Could you please put me on your no-call list?" He obliged and promised not to call again. Two days later I received another call from Kenny spouting about my mortgage again! I told him that I requested that he put me on his no call list two days ago. He apologized and said that he will take me off the list again.

Well that didn't last long since he called me again about a week later. And again another week later and so on. Today he called again for the TENTH time. I decided I had enough. I listened to his shpeal on the mortgage and then hit him with, "Thanks Kenny. Oh by the way could I speak to your manager?" This confused him but he responded with 'Sure just a minute.' I could hear him say "He wants to speak with a manager. Where is the manager?" I heard other peoples muffled speech but couldn't make it out. So then a female came on the line and it went something like this...

Female voice: "Hello? Can I help you?"
ME: "Is this the manager?"
F: "Yes it is. Can I help you?"
ME: "Yes as a matter of fact you can. Where are you located at?"
F: "I'm sorry?"
ME: "Where are you guys based out of? Where are you calling from? India?"
F: "No sir. We are in Pasadena California."
ME: "Okay. I'm having a problem with one of your guys. Your little telemarketer named Kenny. Back in October, I asked Kenny to put me on your no-call list after he called me a second time after I declined the first offer he gave me."
F: "Okay. I see."
ME: "Well that obviously didn't work because he then called me a third time a few days after I requested that he place me on that list."
F: "I am truly sorry that it happened."
ME: "Oh but it gets better. He then proceeded to call me many more times afterwards for the next 6 months and today was his tenth time he called! It seems to me that you are ignoring the no-call law that is in effect."
F: "I am truly sorry. We will place you on the no-call list immediately."
ME: "You seriously better consider it. As this is harrassment and I will make sure that you will be brought down."
F: "I understand. We will remove your name immediately."
ME: "GOOD! Because this is you one and final warning. If I receive another phone call from good old Kenny again. I will immediately contact the phone company and the FFC and make sure your little company is shut down."
F: "I am truly sorry. I will make sure to remove the name. Thank you and have a terrific day.

Feeling truly vindicated I hung up the phone and continued with my spring cleaning. Believe it or not, the phone rings at 7:30pm and it is Kenny asking me about my mortgage! I asked to speak to a manager, he said "Sure. Do you have a pen and paper handy?" I said "Yes." and then there was dead air. The fucking bastard hung up on me, does this guy have that short of an attention span? I called my phone company, they took my complaint, and I have to contact the FCC next.

Well that is about all that happened today. So peace and bright blessings to everyone! Night!

Your going down Kenny!



links to this post